We do NOT need to TALK about Depression

My heart is heavy. Robin Williams is dead. I think I could say NANU NANU before I knew the alphabet. I am so sad that a man so creative should choose to take his life. It”s not the first time I’ve seen it, mental health problems and particularly depression have touched every corner of my life. I have known and do know, people whose illness makes them want to end it, or at least consider it as an option. To stop the pain, to end the suffering. Under normal circumstances, these people would never think to hurt themselves. But the silent thief depression succeeds in robbing us of our friends, loved ones and colleagues – and of course, our heroes, our role models too.

I have a physical pain in my chest.

Robin Williams killed himself because a chemical imbalance in his head. He did not need to die. It was avoidable.

Because depression is invisible, it’s hard to treat. We can’t see it under a microscope, we can’t put a plaster on it. We do not know the face of the enemy. So, it’s very hard to confront. Yes, there are pills and therapy, but we’re battling the approaching with flood with a leaky bucket.

Depression is nothing to be ashamed about. Try telling a depressed person that. Depression isn’t a weakness, but people struggle to understand, if its ‘all in your head’ and you won’t seem to do anything about it – even though depression robs us of the very ability to help ourselves.

I have had a rare kind of depression since I was 9 years old. I have struggled, but I have built a life for myself while dealing with it day-by-day. It has fucked up relationships, jobs, opportunities, friendships, I don’t feel sorry for myself, it makes me mad.

I gave it a face. I bought a picture. Floss. A black dog, the way that Winston Churchill referred to his depression. We’re in good company depressives. Some of the best people have had it, so have some of the worst. It isn’t choosy.

By 2030, depression will replace heart disease and cancer as the most prevalent chronic illness in the world. It’s really not just in our heads.

We have been encouraged to speak about it, but the problem is, quite often, people with depression CANNOT speak about it. A depressive is unlikely to ask for help. They do not believe anything can help. They aren’t just thinking sad thoughts, their brain chemistry is making them sad. They couldn’t change it if they could find the will to do it.

So that’s why I said ‘we don’t need to talk about depression’,  because we need to do something about it. 2030 isn’t far away.

People have made some rather unkind comments on Facebook about the attention Robin Williams death has received. I would prefer to think of it like this. It may not be right to put all the attention on one famous man when thousands dies in Gaza or elsewhere in the world, but Robin Williams has a face, and I’m afraid, for most of us, the victims of the conflict in the Middle East are faceless, we cannot connect. The fact that we CAN connect to Robin Williams makes it personal. He is a face to which we can say THAT BRILLIANT FUNNY MAN WAS KILLED BY DEPRESSION. And maybe we can say I WANT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. And then you should find a Mental Health Charity and give them some money. Because it will help. He’s not a whale that needs saving, or a starving child in Africa, or the victim of a natural disaster somewhere far away. They are all important. But it brings it home to us, doesn’t it? If that BRILLIANT FUNNY MAN could suffer from depression. If that BRILLIANT FUNNY MAN could die from it. So can I. No one is immune.

And I want to do something before it takes someone else. Someone I know, or someone that I don’t.

I know this is just talk. But I don’t just want to talk about depression, I want it to stop. Talking must convert to doing. I am powerless alone. Do something today. Anything to help promote mental health awareness, or help fight depression. One action is more powerful than a thousand words.

My heart is heavy.