Exchanging Expectations for Goals
Most people believe that having high expectations of themselves and others is a good thing. Actually, it isn’t helpful at all. High expectations are crippling. Expectations are all or nothing, they lead to only two outcomes:
Behaviour as expected (which is nothing to shout about)
Failure
The first gives no sense of progress, development or achievement. The second destroys confidence and self-trust and sow the seeds of self doubt.
If we say: “I expect you to nail that audition.” You either do, and nothing is learned from it, or you don’t, and you fail. People who fail like this regularly eventually lose all confidence and often quit. If we say “I expect you to deliver a phenomenal performance each time.” You either do, or you fail and feel like a failure.
This is not to say that we shouldn’t have any expectations. We expect that you turn up on time, we expect that you do the preparation you’ve committed to doing, we expect that you do your research. Expectations of behaviour can be positive. Expectations of outcomes are always negative. To drive progress and development, EXCHANGE expectations for goals.
Goals are measurable, they measure progress. Goals are manageable objectives, they lead to activities. If you do not achieve your goal in one way, you can try another way, there is no fail. If we say “The pace in this section of the scene drops. Your goal is to maintain the pace that is established in this scene. Focus on the pace in the scene. Now you have a goal.
Having high expectations of yourself is damaging to your confidence. You say “I WILL have an agent by Christmas.” And if you don’t, what will you tell yourself? You failed. And who fails? Failures.
Goals:
Learn the names of the top agencies in my area and the individual agents within them.
Research how successful introductions have been made in the past.
Build a network of relationships to leverage support in signing with agents.
Learn what individual agents like or are looking for.
Create the best possible showreel.
Goals can be revised, reviewed, broken down, achieved, partially achieved, or as-yet-to-be achieved. Expectations are fail or succeed.