The Death of Respect and the End of Friendship

They say that you should never work with children or animals. I would add friends to that list.

Before you work with friends, I beg you to ensure that your relationship is tight. You see everything seems to make sense, you get on well as friends, why wouldn’t you be epic colleagues on a project together? From my experience, it’s not long after the project begins that the respect level that one friend has for another decreases. They might start treating them differently, they may begin to take advantage of their friend’s good nature and push the friendship into indulgence, where one friend has to indulge the other friend’s bad behaviour, lateness, inappropriate behaviour, failure to complete tasks or complete them satisfactorily or some other signs of a lack of respect. This thing is insipid and like poison it can really damage your relationship. At this stage, to sever the affected area may be the only choice.

When friends work together, respect should be the first thing to hold in place. Only if you respect each other can this work. At any point when one party starts to look like they’re taking advantage of the relationship, then it’s time to reassess the partnership. In my experience, if you offer people an easier ride they will take it. Soon, they are expecting the easiest ride possible, the one where you carry them. They start asking favours, show up less, are putting less effort in than you. It’s a slippery slope from there. Soon or later, they are expecting exceptions to be made at every turn. If you ever see a student trying to befriend their teacher, it’s not because their short of friends, it’s just when you make friends with power and responsibility, you hope to expect exception from the rules, from the norm, you want to be treated different and you can damage and sully a perfectly good friendship/relationship that way.

Set clear boundaries between your friendship and the working relationship that you have with your friend. If those lines become blurred, reassess your situation. Hear the warning sirens.

Once respect is gone, it’s difficult to pick up the pieces.  There’s a point at which we in the UK might call it, they are just ‘taking the piss’. When it gets to that stage, it’s make or break. Once respect is gone, it does not come back easily. Once you’ve demonstrated your lack of respect for someone, they cannot help but see you differently too.

I know plenty of people who have spectacular working relationships with friends or even their significant other, I personally work very well with my partner – when we get the opportunity. However, it’s not for everyone and I’ve seen friendships wither and die due to the death of respect.

This is a cautionary blog. I’m sure you won’t have these problems. I’ve had them a couple of times and perhaps I’ve even been a perpetrator too. I was wrong to do it. Be on your guard, the death of respect is the end of friendship.