How Far Would You Go?

Your best friend’s brother becomes an internationally renown director. Do you consider using your relationship to make a meet with him?

In the dying light of Erowal Bay, after a gut-busting bbq, a conversation something like the above started. Being a contrapuntal bastard, I took the role of Devil’s Advocate and suggested it wasn’t damaging to the relationship, that it was just business and sat back to listen to my hosts and family, debate the issue.

It seems okay to take advantage of the relationship if the friend offers, but not if you attempt to make it happen.

So the debate seems to hinge, not on the rightness of taking advantage but if the friend offers its okay, but if you try to make it happen, it’s not good.

And then I was thinking, okay, but what if the friendship meant less to you. What if it was merely an acquaintance, could you ask then? There’s still the same ethical issues, only they mean less to you because you don’t feel that you are potentially damaging the relationship, because the relationship isn’t as important.

When is it okay to capitalise on a relationship? One of my friends is my hero’s daughter, I would be mortified if she ever thought I would abuse our friendship to meet him.

But in a world of luck and opportunity, is it wrong to try to make an advantage out of a serendipitous relationship?

My instinct says yes. But my competitive, ambitious side says -hold on- in business would anyone care?

Are you using your best friend or are you simply taking advantage of the situation and not the person? Surely if they are your best friend, the relationship wasn’t forged to take advantage of it, so is it wrong to make hay while the sun shines?

I have a discount card, 25% off at Such and Such. My best friend wants to use it, why would I deny him? Is it wrong for him to ask? If I offer it’s okay, is it so different if he asks and wouldn’t I be delighted to help him? Wouldn’t I be happy that my friend can benefit?

Is it part of a liberal guilt complex? Do we tiptoe around ambition, do we worry about offending people, or should we value our friendships so highly that we wouldn’t dare possibly damage them.

My personal feeling is we should not do anything that damages our friendships, but what do you think?