Guest Blog: My Story so Far

My journey so far, through Practical Aesthetics:

I call it my journey so far, because I don’t believe we can ever reach a point where we know enough about our craft. There is always room to grow, and improve and that is one of the things that make the job so exciting.

When I first came across Mark’s classes, I knew I didn’t know much. I was craving something I could really grip onto, get stuck into, sink my teeth into – whatever image works for you. I was looking for something that worked each and every time. A process I could use when I was approaching any script that I knew would get me into the scene without the hours of intellectualising. I don’t like spending time intellectualizing, and to prove it, spell check is going to town on this document!

I found Mark’s classes through Scotnits, and realized rather quickly that I had been approaching new scripts with a sense of fear and dread rather than excitement. All I wanted initially when I found Practical Aesthetics, was a way I could practice my craft every week and hopefully get a bit better and more confident. What I got was so much more than that.

In my first class we were introduced to the repetition exercise – or the PA version of the repetition exercise. I had done some repetition previously, but only to a very basic level, and without any explanation of why we were doing it. My first thought when the exercise was explained was, “Great, I feel slightly ahead, I’ve got this.” My basic knowledge got me through the first 2 minutes of class. Not only did the exercise levels move along considerably faster than I had experienced, but I actually became aware of WHY we were doing it. It’s amazing how that knowledge ignites you to get better at what, in theory, should be a basic human skill. I had the typical response of anyone new to the repetition exercise: ‘I don’t have the vocabulary’, ‘He’s not doing anything’, ‘I just cant see what you see..’ etc etc etc. I have come to realize there are no new ‘excuses’.

I was very lucky when I first started training because we had a group of only 5 of us who were at the same level and moved through together. We were improving in different areas at different times, but were comfortable enough to allow our own mistakes to happen so we, and others, could learn from them.
I found a breakthrough in repetition in the form of a little breakdown. (Not of the diva kind.) It was during repetition when I felt the pressure mounting and exploded into fits of giggles, the giggles wouldn’t stop. I found myself desperately trying to control laughter, tears and hyperventilation while still trying to do the exercise. At the time it felt like absolute torture, and I was wondering why the hell Mark wouldn’t take pity and stop the exercise. What I ended up getting from pushing through though, was far more valuable than had I stopped and gathered myself. Had I stopped, I would have felt more stupid, and had a sense of failure rather than triumph. I pushed through however, and beat it, with the aid of my wonderful partner. She was very nurturing and it was obvious she desperately wanted me to get through it. The acknowledgement of her sympathy gave me something to say: ‘You’re nurturing.’ From there I could get my attention back on her, and therefore get myself back on track. The lesson was obvious. If that happened on stage, I had a way to get back into the scene- focus on the other person. It can be said in theory a thousand times, but nothing is as powerful as experiencing it.

During the first set of classes we were introduced to our first ‘As if’. The first time I experienced moving from ‘As if’ into a scene without re-setting was when I fell in love with the technique. The freedom to not have to think about how you were going to say the next line seemed to click everything we had done up until that point into line. I was excited. But like any good episode drama, that was the last class, so I had to wait until next term to explore.

I have found, as many have, that the more difficult you are finding something, the more you are learning. It unfortunately, doesn’t occur to you at the time, and certainly doesn’t make the struggle any easier, but I found the PA monologue class a particular struggle. It highlighted all of my bad habits. This, at the time, was torture, but in the long run, so beneficial. If you get the bad habits out in the open, so people can criticize (helpfully of course), then it’s kind of like sweeping the cobwebs out of the attic. It takes time, but you know what you are working with, and being aware of them means you have something solid to work on. A focus in PA is the desire to create a common vocabulary. This proved so helpful when trying to get rid of those bad habits we have when we’re self- conscience. It helped me personally, be aware that my habits were not exclusively mine. Others had the same problems, and they were fixable. Although I had to (and still have to) work hard to get rid of them, I never felt I was in it alone. This was invaluable.

I was so inspired through my time with ACS that when I had to leave the country to go back to Australia for a short time (Visa issues), I wanted to keep my training going. I took nine plays with me to read, and worked with Mark over email, analyzing them. My time at ACS has proven to me, how valuable regular practice is. I cant emphasise enough how helpful it was to just focus on analysis solely for 5 weeks. Or working with one particular class mate, we would sit in my lounge room for hours doing just repetition, then sit for a few more just doing lines on a 2 page script. If you have the time, nothing can replace it.

Our work on ‘Lovely Creature’ is an example of how much faster you can move along in understanding and skill when you totally immerse yourself in the technique. In one week we learnt, rehearsed and performed the play using Practical Aesthetics technique. The fact that we all had the same process, the same vocabulary and the same commitment, meant that every session we moved significantly further along. Everything we had done in class we could apply, in a professional situation, under pressure, and in front of a non- PA audience.

My time assistant teaching and teaching was a form of continual practice, and then some. During my time assisting, I heard the same information, process and examples that I had heard during my training, but every time I heard it, it just reinforced what I knew. When I had to explain these processes to other students, it was incredible how quickly my own understanding deepened. That, and watching other students struggle in the same ways I did, ask the same questions I did, and come across so many familiar hurdles, and new ones of course, just made my belief in the technique stronger. Noticing when people went wrong, how they went wrong, and knowing that it was fixable, reinforced my confidence in my own knowledge of PA and my belief that failure is the best way to success.

I guess I never really noticed improvements in my own performance as I was going, but I did realize that the notes after my scenes were becoming more positive and I watched others around me improve greatly. The most obvious and pleasurable change I did notice though, was a sense of freedom when on stage. When I had got the analysis right, done a good amount of preparation repetition with my partner, as if, repetition with action etc, I had successfully exchanged my familiar feeling of fear and dread with excitement and freedom.

I am now looking forward to what awaits for me here in sunny Oz!

Karli Evans