A number of years ago I wrote a short eBook called the 12 Obstacles. It’s free, download it, go ahead, it’ll give you a chance to see some of the internal obstacles that stop you from performing at your best.
Well, in that book I talk about another book that I had started writing called The Habit of Winning. However, that book morphed into another book that I am writing called The Fearless Audition. But then a lot of people asked me about the Habit of Winning. Well, for PJ Mantoss and all the other people that asked, I’ve decided to write a blog about the Habit of Winning.
The Habit of Losing?
What is the habit of winning? Well, let’s start with a better question. Do you enjoy losing? How does it feel to fail? It sucks. It hurts. And it makes getting up the next day and trying again, even harder.
Well, most people are in the habit of losing. We are actually exceptionally frequent losers. We lose far far more often than we win. Under those circumstances, we get used to feeling like losers. So much so that we don’t think we’re gonna win. Although that doesn’t stop us regularly running at the wall - and it hurts.
We are in the habit of losing.
But why? We just accept it. We just agree to it. We accept that we are losers. That losing must be inevitable. We believe in the habit of losing.
There’s one reason why we lose so much. We do it to ourselves. We are causing ourselves to lose. We are making it happen to ourselves.
Because the way that we set goals sucks. We set big difficult goals. And we fail to reach them, continuously.
Imagine this. Picture a small boy. He is standing underneath a basketball net. He jumps up to try to reach the net and misses. He lands. He missed. He looks up again. He jumps as hard as he can, he stretches and misses widely. He lands. He did not succeed. He lost, he is a loser.
This is precisely how we treat setting and trying to achieve goals. He jump, miss, land and lose. Over and over again. That’s the habit of losing. We’ve designed losing into the game. If you design losing into your game, guess what you will do every day? You will lose.
But you know what makes you feel okay about losing? - Winning.
If you design winning into your goal setting. Guess what happens? You start winning. Frequently. Consistently. Every Day.
The Habit of Winning
So let’s go back to our small boy and the basketball net. We know that touching the net is impossible and right now only causes failure. It guarantees losing.
So, if you want to win regularly. You have to develop the habit of winning. You need to set your first goal as something that you CAN achieve. Imagine the boy setting the goal to get his knees up by his chest on his jump. He tries it, and he does it. He wins.
Now not only does he have a lovely feeling inside himself. But he wants to jump again. The big goal seems more possible. He doesn’t feel like a loser.
I know it’s simple. But that’s why it works. When you set small goals that you can win regularly, you stay motivated to achieve the bigger goal. If you lose constantly, your motivation and confidence are affected from the beginning, and then you start losing focus.
Consider your larger goal. Then break it down into very small pieces. Small pieces are manageable. They are much MUCH easier to win. When you win frequently, your belief in yourself, your confidence, rises. When you lose frequently, your belief in yourself dies.
And so we want to design the pursuit of our goals to achieve regular small wins. The smallest win is more powerful and more motivating than the smallest loss. So look for the small wins. Ask yourself what the smallest possible win is.
Now, don’t think that I am asking you to avoid your big goals and dreams, I’m not at all. I’m just asking you to think about the journey to those goals as smaller, more achievable steps on the way to the dream.
That’s the Habit of Winning. Breaking your goals down into smaller, sometimes tiny, winnable steps. Then you can win consistently, stay motivated and enjoy winning every day.
If you’d like some coaching on how to make the habit of winning work, please get in touch with us and I’ll help you achieve the habit of winning.
To You, The Best